Hey Senor bloggy Blog! I’ve been MIA for awhile, for reasons you will all find out in future blogs. But for now I’m keeping it a little light as I wade back in to the world of revealing a very select side of my soul to you all. So with out any more rambling, here is Psycho-Bitches!
Dudes like Psycho-Bitches. They prefer to date them. I know. I’ve seen it. I’m an expert. On such matters. No more fragments.
I know this because of years (privileges of having the same interests of a twelve year old boy) of seeing my nerdy guy friends and nerdy love interests fall victim to their beguiling ways. I’ve heard you boys complain about the girl who showed up on your doorstep with pie, who knitted you a scarf after your first date. The girl whose eyes filled up with tears when she found out you both liked The Black Keys,
“Oh my god,” she says in a voice choked with emotion, ” we have so much in common!”
That girl is a Psycho and you know it! I know it and I haven’t even met her, in fact I made her up! And right now you are thinking, “how can I get away from this chick unscathed but date her long enough to get in her pants..?”
You boys come back and regale us with your bad date with the Cling-Master 5000. But guess what?! In two weeks you’ll be dating steady, in a month I’ll have to pencil her into one of my famous dinner parties, then you’ll bring her to our Soul Caliber tournament, because she says she likes it… but she won’t play. Or worse, she’ll button mash! But damnit she’s good in bed isn’t she, and pretty, the nut-jobs are always gorgeous…
Anyway– to return to my point– you boys like a Psycho-Bitch, just like us girls can’t resist an Asshole guy( heh heh heh) there is some level of risk and drama that we just can’t seem to resist, some level of excitement! Whatever the case maybe, I end up screwed because of it! Ever the proverbial girl next door, I know what your thinking, “girl next door” types are desirable. Nuh uh, I am no Mary Jane. I’m Fucking Peppermint Patty! There will be no Peter Parker, I can’t even get Charlie Brown, I’m stuck with Milhouse over there. And guess what?! My Milhouse ends up being the male version of the Psycho-Bitch! The emo-goth boy with gender identity issues, and a penchant for emotional abuse. Seriously.
The assholes passing for nerdy nancy-boys, just date me momentarily, tell me how nerdy and amazing I am, then leave me for hotter less-sane, agent provacateur “nerd” girls. Then Milhouse leaves me because he needs to, “figure some things out.”
Most likely if he is gonna opt for the whole gender reassignment surgery or just get the breasts and leave Wangston Churchill and his Parliament in their house of commons.
So what I am really trying to say here is: Psycho-Bitches, you treasure those sweet, sensitive nerdy boys, because with them you have my heart and my hours of video games and dissection of the Star Wars Extended Universe, followed by nerd-sex. I won’t go into details on how that works, to protect all nerds involved.
And one more thing, probably the most important nugget of wisdom I’ll instill in you, Ms. P. Bitch:
I… hate your fucking guts!