Alright people who read my blog, that’s right you Dr. Archibald and Jimmy over there in the corner. I am writing about a day in my life since I gained temporary custody of my niece and nephew. So ummmm… prepare to be thrilled by my enthralling mediocrity!
7:00 am: Wake up, take nephew to bus stop. Chainsmoke the whole way back, wonder why always so out of breath at this point.
7:15 am: Look at lolcats.
8:00 am: have coffee.
8:15 am: have another cup of coffee.
8:30 am: think about ways to make life more productive, write up schedule.
9:00 am: look at memes.
9:30 am: fall back to sleep.
9:35 am: get woken up by niece. Make her breakfast and put on movie.
9:45 am: look at lolcats
10:00 am: post semi-funny, mostly contrived Facebook status update.
10:15 am: share meme on Facebook.
10:30 am: put on pants/make another cup of coffee. Yes I do both at the same time. No I will not tell you how I do it… alright yes I will. The Force.
11:00 am: smoke cigarette.
11:15 am: pick up nephew from bus.
11:30 am: Help nephew move box or some other such thing on Video game.
11:35 am: look at memes.
11:45 am: help nephew beat level on video game.
11:55 am: help nephew beat boss on video game.
Noon: make lunch.
12:30 pm: look at lolcats
1:00 pm: have coffee
1:15 pm: jerry-rig some broken house hold item( today it was the headphone jack on my phone).
2:00 pm: excessively celebrate successful jerry-rigging, by copious swearing and calling out of MacGyver.
2:03 pm: apologize to MacGyver.
2:10 pm: break up fight between niece and nephew.
2:15 pm: look at memes.
2:30 pm: break up fight between niece and nephew.
2:40 pm: have dance party with niece and nephew.
3:00 pm: make plan with mother to get life more organized.
3:15 pm: start organizing stuff, get distracted by random thing I found that I had forgotten about. ” hey mom look what I found!!!”
4:00 pm: ” Oh yeah… I was organizing my stuff….”
4:10 pm: ” whoa my old girl scout vest! Look mom it still kinda fits! Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?” *does awkward high-stepping dance*
4:15 pm: look at lolcats.
4:30 pm: roll around on floor with actual cat.
4:35 pm: help nephew with homework.
5:15 pm: make dinner.
5:30 pm: annoy niece and nephew with silly antics.. i.e. try to get them to do strange dance or consistently speak in yokel accent.
5:40 pm: attempt to write.
6:00 pm: look at memes.
6:15 pm: look at buzzfeed.
6:30 pm: post buzzfeed story to Facebook.
6:45 pm: “hey we’re missing The Simpsons.”
7:00pm: watch The Big Bang Theory in syndication, with family.
7:15 pm: shortly get distracted from TBBT by lolcats.
7:30 pm: start trying to put niece and nephew to bed, read genetics books to them.
8:00 pm: fall asleep in kids’ bedroom.
8:10 pm: get woken up by nephew.
8:30 pm: children successfully asleep!
8:35 pm: look at memes and eat…finally!
8:40 pm: Facebook stalk(hella)!
9:40 pm: think about good idea for next blog entry.
9:42 pm: look at lolcats.
10:00 pm: watch OPB/ Discovery Channel or read.
10:15 pm: imagine montage of self on weird hats.
10:30 pm: smoke cigarette, talk to cat if he’s around.
10:40 pm: look at lolcats.
10:50 pm: watch a bit more TV.
11:00 pm: fall asleep sitting up in recliner.
11:15 pm: get woken up by own drool trickling down neck( yep… you read that right).
11:30 pm: think about making an awesome meme.
11:35 pm: “forever alone!!!!”
12:00 pm: eat ice cream or cereal. Watch Everybody Loves Raymond.
12:30 watch Frasier because I’m sophisticated. “Will that dilettante ever find a woman of his caliber?”
“Nay goodsir, nay.”
12:50 pm: fall asleep in recliner.
and there you have it an average day in the life of Aubrie “Farnsworth” Cooper.
… I think I have adult ADD.